my two dreams

i had two dreams about you. just after we talked.

the first was you and i at British Airways, working for Cathay Pacific. we were joking along as we always do. I was flirting with you as I always do. and you were responding as you always do. i felt so warm and fuzzy, happy and in love to have you, but it was then that you star speaking with him. andy. the name you have given to him who has you now. once he appeared it was though as though he was always there. always between us. he was just noticed when it was with him that you left my dream and not with me.

The second dream was me as a police officer. there was some sort of riot going on, and so to report to work i showed up in my police shirt mostly buttoned, in my scrubs (covered in paint) and flip flop. Once I got to work I realized that i was in flip flops and scrubs, and that I had no change of clothes (as i do at jfk. in a panic i realized that i had to go out and deal with the problem, and to do so i needed to be in uniform, not in scrubs. i asked a coworker to borrow her car, as though i only i have my learners permit i knew that being a cop in the city i would be able to drive on my own. Instead, she suggested that we take a ride to my place with a few other people. When we got inside my apartment, i noticed that you were among those there. we, as we always do, gravitated towards one another. we spent the evening chatting and flirting and teasing as we always do, until you made it clear that you were leaving with him, with andy. he was someone who was there but not there but always there. again he who had you...

this is what i dreamed. this is how i desperately need you and how i disparagingly dont have you.