I dont know much

but i know i love you.

and its what plagues me. i cant escape you. i though i could leave you back in chicago. i thought i could dwell on the hurt that i feel. i though i could simply concentrate on the fact that you have moved on.

but i cant.

i want to hate you

i want to forget you

i want to not need you

but i cant.

every time the green light on my phone blinks my heart drops, thinking that it might be you.

every time that the green light blinks my heart breaks, for it is not you.

i dont know what you have done to me, i dont know how this love has possessed me so.

but i cannot go a day without thinking of you, without yearning for you.

why do you have to be so wonderful?

why did you have to introduce me to this love?

why do you have to be you?

i do not doubt that you will find someone better than me.

i just fear the likelyhood that i wont find bette than you.

every time i hear the name anthony, jose, or God forbit Karen my mind goes awry.

every time i see the destination dubai on a bag tag or ticket i think of taking you there.

every time i think or speak my broken spanglish i am only reminded how it made you giggle.

every wrist, every shoulder, every hip and every eye that comes close to resembling yours sends me into a tither.

i can only thank God that no one has the skirls that you do, for i fear that i would lose it all together.

what have you done to me?

why didnt you teach me how to forget you?

bonita, you have my heart, even if you no longer want it.