So I know that I said that I would post once a day, but I figured that I shouldn't stop myself from posting something... It would just defeat the whole purpose of the blog!
The other thing I was thinking was that I think this bog will help me a great deal in opening up and sharing my life with you.I have come to realize that I'm one of those people who hates to make a big deal about their birthday but still like it when others do. That's kinda how I feel about the bad and sad parts of my life; I don't want to make a big deal about them and bring them up, but I still like it when I have an ear to bear all to. That's why writing to you like this should prove helpful!
Here we go...
So I'm a little freaked out about tonight, I have to go and what a 2.5 hour flag football game (well, multiple games) and take pictures of the people playing. I also have to take team pictures. It doesn't appear to be har, and I guess maybe that's what concerns me. I looked on the company's website at the other blog postings and it seems to be way too easy. Whenever something seems like it's free money I always get a little concerned.
The other reason that I am worried about tonight is that I am just barely half way towards what I need to come up with in rent money and bills. The work I was doing online was going great, but suddenly within the last three or four days there hasn't been any work available, meaning I haven't earned any money. And even when I do there's a few days before my work gets approved, then ten days waiting for it to post to my amazon account, then 4-5 days to transfer it into my bank account. So if I need to come up with the rest of rent money and get it out by the 30th that means that I have to earn it by the 16th at the latest. And yet there's no work to be had. So I really need this thing tonight to pan out. Even though I think it's only a maximum of $200 a month it would really help to alleviate the financial stress I feel.
That's part of why I'm freaking out in general. I've gone through all of my savings, I don't have a real job, and I'm behind the eight ball on bills. I should have just spewed all this stuff to you but I guess I both didn't know how and I didn't want to throw myself a pity party!
It's times like these that make me really regret leaving Chicago. Almost every moment do I regret doing so because of you, but the silver lining so-to-speak has always been the thought in the back of my head that I'm going to make it here. But I really sometimes feel like a failure, like a poser just half trying to make it and not really having the ju-ju to do so. I'm sorry for leaving you bonita. And I'm sorry to be leaning on you now. I cannot tell you how often just having you in my life lets me put my head down to rest at night, or plants a smile where there shouldn't be one at all. I just hope you can bare with my craziness and neurosci. If it makes you feel any better I'm the most crazy about you...
Until next time mi skirls...
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