Tonight you answered me. It's ok that you're moving on. It's ok that you love me but are no longer in love with me. It's ok that you're just trying to be happy.
I don't know if you truly no longer adore me or rather if you simply don't want to admit (to yourself or me) that you are. Yet it is clear that either way you wish not to. I get it bonita; I am here and you are there. It didn't work before in this situation so why should it work another time through?
I don't know. I don't know how or when I can or will come back to Chicago. All I know, all I can tell you, is that I feel it; I sense you in the depths of my soul.
So what does that mean? How can I have an expectation of a future with you when it seems so uncertain?! Truth be told I cannot. And that's not what I am in search of. In my gut and in my heart I simply feel like we COULD end up together. I am not changing my life for the purpose of being with you. I am simply walking with my eyes affixed upon you at the end of the path I travel. Maybe it is not to be. Maybe the universe conspires for something different for you, for me. If that is indeed the case then it is only because that is the way in which we will be most happy.
I need to know that you're open to this idea. That somewhere down the line you feel us together. If you don't it only means that I must walk my journey with my eyes closed and my soul screwed up towards the heavens.
I have one more favor to ask you. I have a little something I want to send you - just a couple of books. Would it be best to send to you at work or home?
I love you bonita. That is now and forever. No matter what path we may take in this world or the next, know that I will always carry you in my heart.
Yo te quiero mi skirls.
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